I Must be Crazy 2

 Crazy 2 be here

When I first started buying things over the internet I found out that once someone has your name and interests on record, everyone has your name and interests on record.  No matter how hard your email provider tries to weed out the unwanted stuff from your wanted emails, you're still stuck with the task of cramping your deleting finger while narrowing your incoming list down to your friends and family.

I did that a lot, cramped my deleting finger, but every once in a while I found myself stopping and thinking, "Hmm, this looks interesting, I think I'll take a look."  And a new list had my name on record.

I believe that was how I found Kareem Hajee.  When I bought the e-book about starting the affiliate website, I ended up on two different mailing lists:  one for making fast money on the internet, and one for changing your life in a positive way.  There were plenty of sales pitches for both, and both were of interest to me, so every once in a while I'd click on one and sign up for a newsletter.

On the fast money lists I found two guys that seemed interesting and had some free information that I thought I could use.  Mack Micheals had some entertaining videos with just enough information to get you started with email marketing and wanting to know more.  He had a club you had to join to really get involved in his program and maybe make some money but it was more than I was interested in spending.  Mike Litman shared some webinars and free e-books that talked about writing e-books and creating newsletters for affiliate marketing, never concluding his topics and always teasing you at the end that you had to buy a book or video or class from him to continue your education.  I did buy a few things from him at his "sale" prices, but I soon learned his tactic was to never finish anything so that you had to buy the next kit or book or recorded webinar to learn the rest of what he was teaching.  I have to say that I did learn some valuable things from these guys, and I don't regret the few bucks I spent on them and their products, but it seemed like a never-ending roller coaster of buying their products.  So I got off.

The self improvement lists were sending me lots of emails with different products and programs that looked interesting, but only a few tickled my buying bone.  Most of the emails were from people I'd never heard of, but some were well known names and products, like the Passion Test and the Secret.  I can't quite remember what sparked my interest when I received Kareem's sales pitch, but I bit.  Maybe it was the weekly newsletter he promised or the way he worded his sales pitch, but whatever he said got me to buy his books and CD set.  I think mostly it was that it wasn't very expensive and I decided it might be good for me.  At the time I was down in the dumps about work problems and financial worries, and this program looked like it would help.  Kareem Hajee talked about reprogramming your subconscious to work for you instead of against you.  It was a four week program of listening to his CD's and practicing daily visualization exercises, and by the end of it I was half-convinced that my subconscious mind is, "my partner in success."

I have to admit, though, his program worked.  Not only was I able to pull myself out of my dump, but  Kareem's newsletter also opened more lists to include my name and more "opportunities" came my way.  I eventually figured out that most of Kareem's newsletters were about selling some other people's books and programs, so I opted (cancelled) out of the newsletter, but he had led me down some interesting paths.

Soon I was reading other newsletters from life coaches and gurus.  Soon I was buying other people's life improvement products.  I even bought into a program that teaches you how to become a certified life coach, but I found I really didn't want be a life coach, and that program is now lying dormant on my computer.  It has become one of those projects I put aside with the idea that some day I'll get back to it.

Probably not.

Stay tuned for the next excerpt of, "I Must be Crazy," to get an earful of what I learned from the other gurus and where their newsletters led me.

I Must Be Crazy 1

Crazy me

I decided now was a good time to go back a little in time to explain myself and recount what has led me here, so you, the readers, can enjoy the mess I've gotten myself into.

It's really not a mess, just a wild ride of seemingly unrelated circumstances that are coming together to become a huge deal.  They are projects that I've started for fun but ended up being being more serious yet more rewarding than I could ever have imagined.  I am worn out and feel overworked, and I find myself asking the question, "Am I crazy to be doing this?" at least twice a week.  When my brain feels like exploding I ask this of myself almost daily.

The answer is always, "Maybe, but stopping apparently is not an option," because trying to imagine myself not doing all of this is impossible.  I started on a path where the journey is leading me who-knows-where, and there is no getting off.

So, I'll start at the beginning.   

In the Fall of 2009 I was working late nights at the television station, the shift was 7:30 pm to 4 am, and I found myself trying to stay awake.  I turned to You Tube.  Even though I started with cute animal videos (singing parrots are my weakness),  I found a cache of animated short films, (another weakness of mine) which I started sharing with my friends and family.

Night after night, when I found myself powering down, usually by 2am, I looked for another video to entertain myself with.  When I ran out of animals and animations, I started on exercise videos, thinking that a little workout would get the blood flowing.  This eventually led me to meditation videos because I figured I could use a little mind expansion, which led me to other mind expansion and life improvement videos. There is a lot of stuff to see.  I found myself totally impressed with the power of You Tube.

One night I saw a link to a website that promised to help me make a little money while helping other people.  It included a little e-book and access to an affiliate website filled with other people's e-books and videos that focused on educating and improving your life in some form or another, and I thought, why not?  I went home and bought it and set the website in motion.

The book was short, but suggested that writing your own e-book was a good thing to do.  The author also suggested that creating your own website was easy and fun and a helpful way to sell the affiliate website.  My worn out brain decided, again, why not?  I could use a little exercise in internet creation.  What would it hurt to educate myself?  It could be fun.

The next thing I knew I was writing a book.  I had some information in my head that I thought would make a good subject.  I had lived a pretty decent life and accomplished some interesting things, so I wrote it all down, organized it and did a little research.  Fast forward a few months and my first draft was born.  With the intention of saving up to hire an editor and figure out how to e-publish it, I piddled around with the book, tried to think up a good title and wondered about creating a book cover.  In other words, I threw it in the back seat.   As of this writing, the book is still not published, but stick with me, it's coming!

In the meantime I ordered a DVD/book set that talked about changing your subconscious programming so you could get past your blocks and make your life go the way you want it.   During the summer of 2010 I spent some down time reading and listening to the audio recordings, doing the exercises (it was a 4 week course), and telling myself , "my subconscious mind is my partner is success."  The course, if you're wondering, is Creating Power  by Kareem Hajee.  I didn't think I was accomplishing anything, but look at me now!

During all of this I never made one cent from the affiliate website.  I decided to take the next step.

I found a web site company that would help me set up my own site for a pretty small fee. I thought up a domain name, picked template and a website was born.  Soon I was making plans to sell my e-book, create a blog, feature some of my favorite videos and websites and tell some friends.  I spent the next month or so using up all of my free time playing with my new and exciting web site.  Woo, hoo, I could add a picture here!  Looky, I created a link to this web address, and created buttons that work, and found a way to include some You Tube videos!  I was in right brain heaven.

By the end of 2010 I had all of these new fun things to do, but didn't know what to do with them.  This was where I started to question myself.  I wondered if it was time to quit and get back to dealing with real life.

Then I stopped deleting all of the sales emails I was getting in my inbox and looked at some of them.

Big mistake?  Maybe.

Stick with me for future posts, where I'll continue the saga of Crazy Valorie.

Sun Burst

    The air was crisp, the sun was warm, yellow and crimson leaves floated down from the maple tree at the end of my driveway, and two patrol cars pulled up across the street behind my car.  Mmm, interesting.

     I watched from my side porch, pretending to brush my dog, as a police officer got out of each car, put on his gloves and walked down the street.  They split up when they got to the house they were searching for;  one officer went up the driveway and stood guard over the back yard, the other climbed the stairs and knocked on the front door.  No one answered.

    The little drama that never unfolded became boring, and my attention wandered to a glint of light reflecting off of the hood of my car.  It's not unusual for the sun to bathe my car at that time of the morning, but the glare was different this morning. I saw a full spectrum of color radiating from a sunburst;  rays of blue, green, red and yellow exploded from a white, bright core.  I gawked at it for a minute then ran into the house to get my camera.  I knew the sun was about to change position and the colorful sunburst would soon disappear.
   
    By the time I came back out, camera on and ready, the police officers had given up on rousting anybody from their target house and were heading back to their cars.  I had to hurry.  I didn't want to attract any undue attention.  I mean, what's more suspicious than a woman pointing her camera in the direction of  police cars and clicking away?  Unfortunately, time was of the essence and I had none to waste.  I had to risk discovery.

   
    I think I got the picture I wanted, and even from here you can see the colors.  Luckily for me the officers were too preoccupied to notice me and my camera, either that or they saw and decided I wasn't worth further attention.  I went back inside, and they got back in their cars and drove away, and I spent the rest of my morning watching the sun.

    When I first saw the sunburst, the rays of color were longer and more defined.  The sun had moved while I was in the house, and I missed the best photo opportunity.  Still, I was happy with my results.

    I found out that later that night there was an aurora radiating over much of the northeast, and some people had even seen some red light dancing over Maryland.  Apparently the Sun was very active that day.  Extra solar activity equals extra color. 

     I like that.

A Fluttery Breakfast

The other day, as I was filling the bird feeder, I noticed a monarch butterfly was flitting about the front yard.  I was surprised as I have never seen one in my neighborhood before.

Years ago I traveled all the way to Mexico to observe the monarchs as they gathered for the winter in the mountains to stay warm.  The story is that they start their migration from Canada, travel all the way through the U.S. over mountains, rivers, deserts and busy cities to get to Mexico and rest.  In the Spring they start their journey back, only it takes generations of butterflies to get to the place they started before the last generation turns around and flies south again.  They stop on the way to fortify themselves on their favorite snacks, milkweed, try not to get eaten by hungry birds or run into by speeding cars, do their best not to tire out over open water and drown or get blown off course by hurricanes and tornadoes.  Nature does it's best to thin out the weak butterflies leaving the strongest to breed for the north bound trip.  I was fascinated and enthralled by the thousands and thousands of monarchs that gathered in Mexico, like music lovers to a jazz festival.  Their collective wing flickers made an impressive sound, and as they are protected by law, you had to whisper when in their presence and ended up in jail if you accidentally killed one.

The energy and will power that it took for this massive migration brought to mind that we as humans can accomplish anything we put our minds to.  All we need is the will to succeed, the patience to do things right, and the ability to keep in mind our final destination.  And if we can do all of that with a smile, then we can move mountains and be happy about it at the same time!

When I saw this lone butterfly in my yard I took it's presence as a reminder of my experience in Mexico. It was an omen that I had to keep on keeping on in my new business venture, Happy 2 be Earthbound. Then I ran into the house to grab my camera, risking getting to work late.  I managed to take a few decent pictures, but had to give up to get ready for work.  Then, as I was in the kitchen cleaning out my coffee cup, I saw through the window to the back yard more butterflies flitting about.  Now I was curious.  Where were they coming from?  Why, after all of these years of living in this house, have they come here?

Then I saw what the attraction was.  There were trees in my neighbor's yard that had been taken over by vines and they were flowering.  The butterflies loved it!  I watched as they bounced about from flower to flower, warming their wings in the morning sun, taking a brief break before they took flight again toward Mexico.  My neighbors never knew the treasure they had in their own back yard, but I did.  I have no idea how they found the vines in the middle of this busy city, but they did and I was glad for the treat.  It was a beautiful way to start a hard work day at a job I'll be happy to leave some day.

I looked for them the next morning, but the butterflies had already moved on with their journey.  They also had a schedule to keep.

And, encouraged by the monarchs that early October morning, I vowed to keep on keeping on.