Go Pee in the Rain

Over the years, with all of my dogs, I developed a habit of getting up in the middle of the night to let them out to relieve themselves.  I figured that as long as I'm up because my own bladder has a call, I might as well take the extra step for the dogs.  I think they appreciated it, especially since I rewarded them with a treat when they came back to the house. 

I slept better afterwards knowing we were all more comfortable.  It also meant that I could take my time getting out of bed in the morning, and I hate rushing around after a good night's sleep.

I now have a puppy and I'm house and crate-training her.  She's doing pretty well with going outside to pee, but she refuses to go out in the rain and sometimes when it's dark outside, both of which happens a lot here in D.C. in the winter.  Even if I pick her up and carry her out to the yard, tell her to go pee and wait in the rain for something to happen, she'll refuse to do anything except find something to chew on.  Whether it's day or night, if she feels uncomfortable she looks around nervously, picks up a stick or a leaf and heads back to the house.  The result, of course, is that her bladder fills up and she ends up piddling on my carpet.

So now we have a plan.  If she relieves herself outside, she gets lots of positive validation and lots of free time in the house.  If she doesn't, she goes straight back to her crate.

Nine times out of ten, she refuses to pee.  Out of fear of the unfamiliar she'd rather stay in her crate and suffer with her full bladder.

I eventually realized that this was a good representation of what a lot of us humans do.  Instead of embracing new and unfamiliar experiences, we tend to retreat back into our boxes.  If we don't get the right encouragement or the right training when we're young we never learn to get past our fears and gain the courage to reap our rewards.  We have deep rooted belief systems that keep us from stepping out of our comfort zones.

It's hard to feel safe when facing the unknown.  We are wired to protect ourselves, even when it means living with pain because it's a condition we are already familiar with.  We already know how to deal with our pain.  We don't know if we can handle an unfamiliar experience.

I don't like to conquer my fears; it's more helpful to me to try to break through my fears.  I think of each fear as a door with an invisible deflector shield and a hard-to-step-over threshold that takes extra effort to cross.  The trick is to change my perspective.  The door can look pretty scary at first - overwhelming, repelling, and unfriendly - but if I can look at it as interesting, inviting and beautiful, the door becomes an entrance to a new adventure or at least an interesting opportunity.  Sometimes crossing that scary threshold takes a bit more psychological effort, but it's usually worth it.

 It's hard to get past our fears, but it can be done.  We need to adopt a mindset that invites us to trust our intuition and our ability to deal with anything that comes our way.  It helps to have a support system, something or someone that will back you up and cheer you on when you need to open a new door, but ultimately it's up to you.  You are the one who's exploring new territory, so you are the one who has to handle whatever shows up when you open that door.

My puppy may prefer to wait for those sunny, clear-weather days to squat in the yard, but I know with the right encouragement, en-courage-ment, I can help her get over her fear of wet grass and cold raindrops and empty her bladder.  I'm banking on her desire to get over her setbacks and live a fearless life of passion and joy, a life every puppy should live.

It's also a life every human should live.  Somehow we lost track of our ability to embrace our growth process.  For some reason we've used fear to achieve a feeling of safety and comfort.

Ask yourself what you really have to be afraid of.  I encourage you to open your door to relieve your pain and go pee in the rain.  You might learn to like it.